MODERN MYSTIC

Venus in Aries can be a very fun, engaged, instinctual, attuned, loyal, affectionate, attentive, honest, communicative, sexually enjoyable placement that gracefully and charismatically inspires joy, courage, self-empowerment, action, passion, warmth, and loyalty in others. Venus in Aries loves courageously and has the capacity to show up fully in connection.

This can be an extremely challenging placement, but like other difficult astrology placements, it can also be a super power once you learn how to work with it and heal wounds associated with it.

If you have this placement, it likely means that there’s some serious healing to be done around worthiness (note that self-confidence is absolutely NOT the same thing as self-worth!), money, and interpersonal relationships, especially romantic relationships. If someone in your life has this placement, it can be extremely useful to understand why they are the way they are and how to work with this energy. Let’s get into it!

Venus is our drive to attract what we value, our concept of loveliness and beauty, our feminine charms and social graces, and our drive to create harmonious, mutually beneficial interpersonal relationships. 

Venus rules two Signs, and these Signs indicate her most natural, most preferred way of behaving in the world. Understanding these Signs is important in understanding Venus herself and how she functions best.

Venus as understood through the lens of Taurus attracts and enjoys sensual pleasures, beautiful experiences, and possessions which she finds lovely by way of her receptivity and unshakable sense of worthiness. She knows she deserves nice things, stability, security, peace, and pleasure because she’s so inherently lovable, and life clearly loves her! Why wouldn’t she have those things? She’s very clear about her values, and what she wants and appreciates is very stable. She likes to keep things light and feel good.

Venus as understood through the lens of Libra enjoys cooperation, harmony, diplomacy, fairness, teamwork, social graces (as opposed to crudeness or bluntness), attracting others by knowing what they like and what’s socially popular, being pleasing to the eye, agreeableness, considering the perspectives and best interests of others, embodying charm, looking for win-win solutions, building diplomatic connections, proactively looking out for others’ best interests as a subtle form of ingratiation, and just generally being peaceful, complementary, measured, and pleasant. She’s smooth. She really has a way with words, knows how to play politics, and likes to keep things light and feel good for everyone!

Aries as a way of being in the world is the simplest, most direct, self-centered, independent, aggressive, impatient, competitive, and action-oriented sign in the entire zodiac. It’s the spark of life! A safe, comfortable Aries placement is innocent, naive, fun, enthusiastic, bold, instinctual, courageous, strong, determined, adventurous, buoyant, energetic, resilient, and open. It’s full of initiative and loves a good challenge to test and increase its strength. However, Aries is also extremely aware that life can be very dangerous, and sometimes, you need to fight to get what you need or to defend yourself and others. This, too, is a manifestation of literally being the spark of life. Aries is well aware of and attuned to threats to its life, freedom, and agency. 

Aries knows when and how to fight and how much force to apply. Aries is extremely fast on its feet because that’s what’s necessary in life or death situations, and, in a way, everything is about life or death for Aries. Aries is the part of our charts where it is, at least some of the time, kill.or be killed, predator or prey, sink or swim, do or die. Only the strong survive. Aries is a warrior. Wherever Aries is in your chart (whether there are planets there or not), you will at times need to either be aggressive, fight, or be the victim of aggression. 

Aries can be quick to anger, and people whose experience has been that life is dangerous most of the time, most people will try to harm them, and their survival needs will not be met unless they fight or compete for them or just take them from others, when necessary, will have extremely strong aggressive tendencies and the quick to anger or even rage until that energy is released from their nervous system in effective, healthy ways.

Is it hard trying to imagine lovely Venus needing to function the way fierce Aries functions? Needing to find peace, cooperation, and relationships through war, self-centeredness, and independence?

The signs of the zodiac are a progression that starts with Aries, and each sign builds on the foundation of the previous sign as well as resolves and issue that it creates. This progresses all the way up through the release, radical acceptance, surrender, and dissolution of Pisces which then sets the stage for the cycle to begin again with the spark of life and new beginnings in Aries. This is an important concept to understand in regards to Venus in Aries because we learn that we deserve to be safe, secure, and comfortable in Taurus, and Taurus is also where we know in our bodies what we value and like. Aries doesn’t inherently have the benefit of this knowing the way later signs do. 

Venus in Aries is born and goes through life (at least until these wounds are healed) feeling that her need for interpersonal relationships, social connections, material security, social approval, being seen as desirable, being liked, and even being loved are things that not only will not naturally be provided to her because she’s worthy of them but are also survival needs for which she must fight for her life. This is a very, very energetic and active Venus sign!! She believes love is something she must win, and she will not rest. She attempts to seduce by being extremely direct and even aggressive and by showing off her prowess, strength, skill, toughness, and independence.

Common patterns for people with a wounded or immature Venus in Aries include:

• They get confused and angry when others aren’t as direct as they are because they expect people to be open about their intentions and to speak up when they have a desire, need, or problem with something.
• They’re attracted to potential romantic partners who don’t seem especially interested in a relationship with them because they don’t expect love to be freely given or people to just naturally like them. They expect to need to chase the person and win their loyalty and affection.
• They may not even know why they like the person they like! They may actually have extremely poor compatibility with that person, but they aren’t seeing that because they have poor awareness of their own preferences and values, at least to some extent. They also trust their strength and tenacity so much that they downplay real and important obstacles to a relationship in their minds because they believe they can overcome anything if they really want to do so.
• They fixate on a romantic interest and obsessively chase the person as long as the chase is stimulating enough and looks like it might actually lead somewhere.
• They’re prone to abruptly and completely losing interest in a potential romantic partner if it feels like they’re just spinning their wheels. They want to work for it, but they need to feel like they’ve got some traction. They need to be actively engaged. They need attention.
• They have a strong enthusiasm regarding a romantic interest almost immediately and may mistake it for love or attachment. They may unintentionally scare people away or misrepresent their level of interest and depth of feeling for their romantic interest because of this.
• Their nervous systems react to romantic potential as though it’s a threat, so even though they’re very excitable, they are also likely to go into fight, flight, or fawn mode (look into polyvagal theory) when it looks like they may become our are becoming romantically involved with someone.
• Because they know that they’re extremely resilient and will recover from a broken heart no matter how thoroughly its crushed, they fail to guard their heart from risky romantic connections as well as social connections like friendships because they figure they’re tough enough to handle whatever red flags they’re seeing, and they believe love and interpersonal connections are inherently dangerous anyways.
• They may even tolerate partners, friends, and potential partners who are mean, angry, selfish, or unkind to them. Again, they don’t expect to be liked or treated well or fairly. And they expect to have to work and fight to retain relationships.
• Once in a relationship, they may commit way too deeply way too quickly and then put all of that energy into repairing or saving a relationship that oftentimes was never right for them in the first place!
• They may fight with their partner a lot.
• Even when their relationship is with somebody who treats them well and things are actually good between them, they may still feel the need to keep pushing things to the next level whether their partner or even themselves are actually ready to take it to the next level yet. There’s a bit of a compulsion for progress.
• All of this focus on themselves, the challenge, and progress means they themselves are actually not really present in the connection because they’re so focused on where they’re trying to push things or dealing with perceived threats and problems that they’re not just enjoying the light, pleasurable things that Venus so loves to experience and create, and they’re not attuned where their potential partner or partner is or where things really are between them. They’re somewhere in the distance spinning in circles so fast that another person’s genuine affection for them may not have a place to land in them.
• They can be quite tsundere at times.
• Their extremely direct approach may be a turn off for potential partners who expect a little more grace, back and forth, or any level of coyness or mystery.
• They can move way too fast for many people and take it as a rejection when others don’t keep up with their pace.
• They can throw so much energy, enthusiasm, attention, focus, passion, and intensity at a potential partner or partner that it overwhelms the person.
• They can be depressive in long-term relationships if they aren’t ready to give up yet but also aren’t getting their needs met.
• They may abruptly and irreversibly lose interest in a potential partner or partner once they give up hope that things will ever get better.
• They need a great deal of attention and will take it personally if they don’t receive it at all times even if they logically understand that there’s a good reason for it. They may lose interest in someone who isn’t giving them as much attention as they would like even if the person actually is interested in them but simply it has other things demanding their attention at the time.
• They may become infatuated with anyone who gives them a lot of attention, especially if the person isn’t overtly expressing romantic interest.
• They are very likely to try to get over people by dating someone else.
• They may aggressively lash out when they feel rejected.
• They may be very abrupt in how they develop and express both interest and disinterest in potential partners, and the way they express their interest (or disinterest) may not exactly be particularly smooth or gentle.
• They’re prone to disregarding their comfort and sometimes even safety in order to get what they want or in hopes of finally feeling loved.
• They’re innocent to the point of nativity about their impact on others and the way other people respond to them. People often think they are flirting when they’re just being friendly, for example.

I’m going to share some of the traits of a relatively healed or more mature Venus in Aries in a moment, but first, I would like to offer a few thoughts and tips for those with Venus in Aries as well as pointers for those who have are romantically involved with or considering romantic involvement with someone with Venus in Aries.

First of all, Venus in Aries, you ARE lovable and worthy of happy, healthy, fulfilling, enjoyable, fully reciprocal, stable interpersonal connections of every kind! It’s important to recognize that whatever struggles you endured growing up, however you’ve been treated in the past, whatever abuse and danger you’ve endured, whatever loneliness you’ve hidden, you never deserved any of it. No one does. It’s not fair, and it doesn’t need to be that way! It’s important to recognize how messed up some situations in your life have been and promise yourself that you’re going to take good care of yourself, hold out for a relationship that’s actually good for you, and leave any connection that ends up not being good for you no matter how strongly you felt or feel about the person! I promise that there are people out there who will love your fire AND you, will be good for you and you for them, will be as interested and invested in the relationship as you are! 

You’re probably going to need to take some time to spoil yourself like a feel-good Taurus stereotype… bubble baths and candles and whatnot… to show yourself that you deserve to be safe and comfortable, that you deserve peace. Focus on finding ways to soothe and release stress from your nervous system so that you’ll be more attuned to calmness and safety. Internally explore what you want and value in life and in social connections and romantic relationships. If you do this from a calm and curious place, not reactive or in response to other people or situations in your life, you’ll begin to get a much clearer picture of the type of people and situations you truly want in your life, and that will put you in a position to engage in a more steady, healthy pace and with far less stress. 

And let’s face it, as much as it’s sucked to have your heart broken so many times, it’s also really sucked to break other people’s hearts as well. The better you know yourself and what’s important to you, the less likely you’ll be to blunder your way through interpersonal relationships (as well as many other situations in life). 

One of the wounds someone with Venus in Aries often carries is guilt and self-doubt related to their ability to choose partners wisely, and at a certain point, they may even begin to think they’re bad for people or that they don’t deserve to be happy or loved because all of their attempts to establish happy, healthy relationships have failed. They may think they shouldn’t be or aren’t allowed to want things (or people) anymore. 

It’s okay to want things and people, and it’s okay if you don’t get them or do but it doesn’t end up being what you thought it would be. Nobody’s perfect! You were doing the best you could at the time, and you’ll do better in the future. Have some grace and compassion for yourself whenever and wherever possible. Be gentle with those childlike hurting parts inside of you. Rest assured, finding this grace and compassion for yourself will make you more gentle and loving with others as well, so go ahead and forgive yourself for all those misadventures you’ve had. It’s going to get better! You’re learning and growing, and if you put some real effort into learning what’s really important to you in your connections with others, you’ll be in a much better position to choose partners and friendships wisely!

Never tolerate mistreatment again, but you don’t need to fight your way out anymore. You’re an adult now, and you can just leave. You don’t need to be strong. You don’t need to endure. You don’t need to tolerate abuse in order to receive love and care! You don’t even need to argue your way out of the connection. You can just say that you’ve realized that it’s not what you’re looking for and wish the person well and leave in peace.

Focus on getting yourself in a really good place with yourself and your beliefs about what’s possible and what you deserve, and when it seems like people in any type of connection see and value your spark, your passion, go ahead and share it with them. It’s going to be hard to balance at first, but just keep practicing. The idea is to really listen to where they are and what they want, and also ask inside yourself whether you’re really ready for the next step as well. You may be surprised to find that there are parts of you who aren’t quite there yet even as you feel a strong impetus to act! Honor them, and also honor what the other person is telling you about how they feel, what they want, what they need.

If you’re romantically or socially involved with somebody with Venus in Aries, aside from understanding them and why they are the way they are, the very best thing you can do is be extremely clear with them. They very much need direct communication, and you may need to just flat out tell them things that you think a lot of people would “just know”. If you can do this in a loving way, not in an attacking or criticizing way, they should appreciate it and respond well if they’re reasonably mature. 

It’s important to be clear about your own needs and desires. Your Venus in Aries person is going to assume that you’re looking out for your own best interests and will let them know if there’s a problem, so make sure you do! Do what you want to do, and don’t begrudgingly let them convince you to do things that you don’t want to do, or it’ll cause issues later, and that really isn’t what they actually want anyways no matter how enthusiastically they seem to want what they want! If you need some time to yourself or need some space to think about things, it’s important to communicate this in a way that is authentic but also reassuring or encouraging in whatever ways you honestly and, if possible, check in here and there during that time even if you don’t have any news or can’t interact much at the time.

Now for the good stuff! What does it look like when somebody with Venus in Aries has addressed much of their wounding and become more mature?

• They have a strong, clear inner compass. They know exactly what good or bad for them, and they’re good at honoring this.
• They develop relationships one step at a time together. They recognize the value of enjoying each stage of development of a relationship exactly where things are right now. They understand that it takes time to build a strong foundation with another person.
• They don’t chase people. They know that love must be freely, willingly, happily given, not taken, won, earned, or coerced. They don’t try to force connection. They’re receptive to the feelings, desires, intentions, decisions, and affections of others when it feels right for them to do so, and they know that the right people will cherish them. 🥰 They save their passion and focus for people who truly WANT it from them!
• They’re warm, affectionate, caring, sincere, attentive, and friendly to the extent others appreciate this attention from them.
• When they feel themselves getting stressed, agitated, or frustrated in a connection, they pause to reflect instead of just immediately reacting. If the relationship supports it, they may communicate how they’re feeling in a non-threatening way, but they don’t make decisions from this state or take their stress out on others. They find clarity and their inner knowing, and then they act according to their inner compass from a place of calm and peace.
• They recognize their obsessiveness, irritation, and euphoria as forms of stress when they arise. Occasional stress is natural and even healthy, but they expect the long-term, overall experience of their connections to be pleasant, peaceful, mutually supportive, and mutually appreciated.
• They check in with others to see how they’re feeling, how they want, what’s happening for them. They care about these things and become instinctively attuned to their loved ones so they know when to ask.
• They see so much beauty and love in life and enthusiastically experience all of it! This can be very inspiring and contagious, and it can even give people the feeling of having a new lease on life or renewed will to live.
• They can feel it when you’re not engaged in the connection and will bring it up in an appropriately sensitive way and really listen to your response. They understand that you have more going on in your life then your relationship with them and find a healthy balance between their need for attentiveness and understanding that sometimes life can require a person’s attention in other areas for a time. 
• They understand that not everything is about them and know how to the compassionate instead of taking things personally when it actually isn’t about them.
• When it’s truly necessary, they’ll fight FOR you or ALONGSIDE you instead of with you or to win you.
• When a fight really is in order somewhere in life, they’ll freaking bring it! And what’s more, others will fight for and alongside them and defend them because they’re good at inspiring that kind of loyalty and allegiance from others. (For example, many years ago when I had a “regular job”, a customer told my boss that I physically struck him. My boss was outraged with the guy without even knowing what happened and through him out of the business! He didn’t even need to know. He knew that I wouldn’t have fought unless I had a very good reason to do so, and that my response would have been appropriate to the situation!)
• They’ll give others a chance to initiate some of the time. A volley where “the ball’s in your court” sometimes is more balanced than them just always being the one to try to start things with another person.
• They’ll truly listen to what you have to say and care deeply about your comfort and well-being.
• They’ll casually encourage you and empower you to embrace your true self, your desires, your passions, and your boundaries. If you just generally have a hard time saying no to people, being close to a mature Venus in Aries person who is attuned to you will teach you in loving, healthy ways to speak up for yourself because they’ll often be able to tell when you’re not actually comfortable with something and will ask you directly about what they’re perceiving and then honor what you communicating to them. “Yeah dude, if you don’t want to do it, it’s cool. Just say so! 😆 Oh!! I have another idea that might be even better! How would you feel about…”
• All Venus in Aries people are good at making stuff happen, but when they’re mature, they’re also good at knowing what to go for, when to go for it, how hard to push, and when to let it go.
• People, especially strangers, just love to give them things and do nice things for them! Their energy is so fun and lovely, and people just want to experience that with them. Their laugh is infectious, their sense of adventure can get people moving and healthy ways, and people love to follow their lead.
• They’re good at making you feel special, and it’s because you ARE special! And you SHOULD feel special! 😁🥰😘
• They’re extremely loyal to the right people.
• They recognize that having their Venus activated, especially romantically, generates a tremendous amount of energy and enthusiasm (especially in the early stages), and they know how to harness that power and channel it into projects and creative endeavors or whatever else in their life needs that attention. They don’t throw it all at their lover or romantic interest. 
• They are extremely honest and direct, and they respond well to straightforward, good-natured criticism and boundaries. You’ll never have to wonder where you stand with them, and they’ll communicate their desires, intentions, comfort zone, and boundaries in appropriately gentle but direct ways.
• You’ll never get bored! 😂 It’ll be some fresh new fun nonsense everyday as long as they’re in your life.
• They’re extremely playful! They’re also very physically affectionate and enjoy combining the two. They’ll do all sorts of crazy physical things like jump on you, play fight, climb on top of you and do something blatantly sexual out of absolutely nowhere, pretend they’re going to suck out your eyeballs… 😅 “Make me feel alive. Make me feel my body. I want to feel strong!” They’ll also enjoy playfully competing with you, and you’d better freaking bring it!! They’re about to beat your high score! 
• They’re engaged, vocal, enthusiastic, energetic lovers. They’re sexually confident and enjoy experimenting. They’re a wonderful blend of light-hearted and intense simultaneously in their approach to sex and sensuality. They’re likely knowledgeable about and comfortable with their bodies as well as yours, and they enjoy finding fun, hot new ways to initiate.
• They don’t hold a grudge! They’ll brush off a lot of things that others might criticize because they know what’s *actually* important, and they respect your agency and autonomy, respect that you’re you.
• Once they calm down (usually after the relationship is well established), they can be very chill most of the time but still kick it into gear when desired or necessary.
• They know how to give others an appropriate amount of time and space, and they can embrace uncertainty as a natural and healthy part of building a relationship.
• They know how to be vulnerable, to let others help, and to be receptive.
• You don’t need to worry about anyone “stealing them away from you” under any circumstances because it doesn’t matter to them one bit who’s interested in them. Their self-possessed and only care who they love and who they want (assuming it’s mutual).
• They recognize that there can be value in delays and waiting at times because it allows them to be certain in their sincerity.
• They become comfortable with a certain amount of indecision and uncertainty in themselves, the situation, and others as they recognize that this is a natural, healthy part of the process of building a relationship and of life just in general.
• They don’t rush decisions. They know that when it’s time for a decision to be made, they’ll have clarity and “just know” that it’s time to act. They’re at peace with uncertainty in the meantime.
• They do not approach life or relationships with a sense of scarcity or lack when it comes to love because they allow themselves to be filled to overflowing with love and then radiate it to those around them. They don’t need to win or find love. They ARE love!
• Hot wings. Wait what?

(and master numbers anywhere in the numerology chart)

The following started out as a message to a friend whose Life Path is also Master 11, and after about the 6th paragraph, I realized I was writing an article, not just a message!

In all of the posts and videos I’ve made about numerology, I’ve never put any focus on the master numbers (11, 22, and 33) being “Master” numbers because I thought it sounded egotistical. In the weeks and months leading up to writing this message, however, I realized that being a master is an enormously significant part of the experience. It feels invalidating for me to continuing ignoring this aspect of my Life Path, and the night I wrote the following, the need to verbalize it was really weighing on me.

Here it is!!!

The Message

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of “master” 11 lately. Our soul’s evolution was done, and we didn’t need to come back. We were ascended masters. And then we chose to come back again, not for our own soul’s evolution, but to serve the world. 😳🤯 We were literally born to be healers.

We’re not here to figure out how to meet our own needs, but we struggle *a lot* with doing so anyways (especially material needs) because this plane is very, very dense, and it’s unnatural for us to exist here in physical form. 

We’re VERY sensitive because we’re here to be channels both of higher energies and messages from the other side of the veil (well, veils), and that also makes life challenging because society is NOT geared for such sensitivity at all! The number 11 is a portal, a doorway, so having an 11 Life Path is very much about mediumship and bringing messages and energies from other dimensions into the realm of human experience. 

We can also feel currents of energies, and energy precedes manifestation, so we can feel what’s coming and sometimes divert or transform the currents before they actually manifest (whether we want to or not), and we need our sensitivity for that as well!

People talk about how 11s need partnership, but I don’t think saying, “It’s because they’re also 2s!” actually begins to cover it. 11s need partnership because they need an anchor, a tether to this world. A good partnership makes it SO much easier to be here! If it’s a relatively healthy, mature relationship, it brings a lot of pleasure and enjoyment to life, and partners can cooperate as a team in life in ways that enrich and support both people’s experience tremendously. 

Relationships are extra challenging for 11s though because people on Earth really do treat each other very harshly and wound each other a great deal. It feels so unnatural and nonsensical to us, yet we sometimes end up picking up patterns from those who abuse or take advantage of us because we need a shield of some sort in order to survive. Everyone does this, but it’s even more painful for 11s because we’re so incredibly sensitive. It also feels very wrong and unnatural to us (no matter how caught up in it we may initially be) because we have already learned those lessons in past lives. 

Living that way again feels rather intolerable, and that feeling spurs us to heal and drop our “shields” (defense mechanisms) as we mature. We then discover that the only way to exist in connection with most humans is through having compatible defense mechanisms, and most people won’t even be *attracted* to you (much less know how to *be with* you) unless you’re willing to hurt them in some of the same ways their parents did. People just don’t know how to (perhaps can’t!) exist in the same space as you if your energy is too much “higher frequency” than theirs, so it’s really difficult to find partners, especially if you’re specifically looking for partners for whom you don’t have to “lower your vibe”. This is true for all spiritually mature people, but the master numbers 11, 22, and 33  have it the hardest in this regard. It makes all types of social relationships (such as friendship) difficult, in fact. 

11s are unusually empathetic, and they need this in order to be healers. Empathy, however, is in itself extremely painful.

There’s also a sense of loneliness and exhaustion with this life path because it’s hard enough just to exist in physical form, and then on top of that, there can be a sense of feeling it necessary to nurture or heal others because we *can*. Being more spiritually mature doesn’t make anyone any better than others. That would be like saying the fourth grader is better than a 2-year-old because he knows how to tie his shoes. It makes no sense at all. Neither is better. They’re simply at different points in their development. However, when you’re “older” than others, it creates a sense of responsibility for offering care when they need it. It’s like if you’re in a park and see a child who’s there alone and needs help with something. You don’t just ignore them. You do what you can. 11s learn to allow people their suffering and not take responsibility for the well-being of others at some point, but they may experience “caregiver burnout” quite a lot before getting to that point.

To top it off, difficulties really thriving on a material level can also make finding partners challenging for many 11s because most people pay more attention to the material world than anything else, so despite working so hard to prosper, having sooooo much to offer, and giving so much of ourselves to others (often in ways they don’t even understand), a lot of people only see us for our struggles. (Our struggles also include finding ways to try to cope with or at least numb our extraordinary level of sensitivity.)

It also makes it very, very hard to find healers (therapists, spiritual teachers, diviners, astrologers, shamans, and even energy workers to some extent) because we’re more advanced than they are to start, and our issues are things they don’t know how to touch, have never experienced, and can’t say or do much to offer assistance or healing. We have to learn to be all of these things for ourselves because we desperately NEED them (unless we’re lucky enough to find someone even more advanced than we are) and are here to be healers ourselves. We often end up being healers for healers because of the level of skill we end up developing.

I’m sure most if not all of this sounds like I’m tooting our own horn, but the reality is that this is an extremely difficult way to exist, and we’re here to humbly serve, not be important ourselves. This isn’t about “being the best”. It’s about love.

The following excerpt is currently my favorite quote of any kind, and it elucidates what is, in my mind, one of the main reasons studying and practicing the Enneagram offers so much value. (It also offers individual benefits such as greater peace, freedom, and the opportunity see and step back from self-sabotaging patterns.)

“Think of people you love. Do you see their tricks? Do you know what they’re up to? Can you see them running their little racket with you? Of course you can. And do you love em anyway? Of course you do. And you know what you’re waiting for? You’re waiting for that moment when they step out from behind that disguise. You’re waiting for that moment where they trust you enough that they don’t have to run that racket with you. You’re waiting for that moment when they love themselves enough to share who they really are with you.

And you know what else? They’re waiting for that with you. Everybody’s waiting for you to drop your dance and show them who you really are.

And we’re all just too scared to do it, but you know… part of inner work is being willing to be the first one on the dance floor. If I’m waiting for other people to drop their stuff before I do, I might wait a very long time. So *someone* has to go first… This is a kind of leadership. It’s being willing to take a leading role to say, ‘You know what, I don’t want to pour my energy into this… I want to show up.’ And in a gentle way, my doing that becomes an invitation for other people to as well…

The weird thing is that this kind of leadership actually is self-care because we are honoring our true heart. It takes A LOT more energy to run these rackets than it does to relax and show up and be who I am. We have no idea how much energy we pour into these personality patterns.”

-Russ Hudson, The Enneagram: Nine Gateways to Presence

Venus in anyone’s chart represents how we attract things, situations, and people we desire. It represents our concept of femininity and what we find beautiful and lovely. Venus rules two signs, so there are two different sides to her. One of those signs is Libra, and the other is Taurus. When Venus is in a sign opposite Libra or Taurus (that would be Aries and Scorpio) in a chart, she’s said to be “in detriment” because she’s been put in a position to behave in ways that are completely opposite to her natural strengths and preferred methods of functioning. When this is the case in a person’s chart, it indicates that they’ve experienced deep wounding associated with Venus themes throughout their lives. It’s very beneficial for those with Venus in difficult positions in their charts (Aries, Virgo, and Scorpio) to understand these patterns because bringing validation, conscious awareness, and compassionate nurturing to these painful patterns can help to heal and free them to find ways to care for and empower their Venuses to function in ways that better support their well-being.

At her best, Venus in Scorpio is highly intuitive, devoted, compassionate, authentic, and can hold space for other people to transform and heal. She’s not afraid of darkness in the least and accepts ALL of those with whom she is close. She’s incredibly self-aware and perceptive, and she is capable of unimaginable depths of intimacy, connection, vulnerability, and grace. She’s capable of trusting those who show her they’re trustworthy, and she opens herself to them gradually as they earn that trust more and more through each instance of shared vulnerability. She attracts a partner who is capable of meeting her in this sacred space, and together they build a blissful union that satisfies her need for intense love, closeness, security, and merging. Sexually and romantically, she’s incredibly attuned to her partners and capable of a connection that’s sweet, real, deep, impactful, and even divine on a level most people couldn’t even imagine possible. The partners feel each other viscerally even when they’re apart. They’re part of each other.

However, Venus may need to endure a great deal of heartache, go through many struggles, and do a lot of work in order to be capable of finding and expressing herself in this manner.

To understand why Venus in Scorpio is so difficult, it’s necessary to consider how Venus behaves in Taurus. The Taurus side of Venus really enjoys the light, simple pleasures in life, is secure, knows that good things will just naturally come her way, and believes that she’s worthy of having whatever it is she wants and needs in order to feel comfortable and live in ways that align well with sensory and aesthetic preferences. She lives according to her own inner values, and other people can either like it or not. She’s self-possessed and clear about what she wants.

Venus can’t function the way that’s most natural for her in Scorpio because it’s exactly opposite of Taurus. It’s dark, intense, heavy, and complicated. Any placement in Scorpio indicates some pain and insecurity due to the nature of Scorpio, but when it’s a placement that has an especially hard time in Scorpio (Venus and the Moon), it represents deep wounds related to the themes of that placement. In the case of Venus, experiences throughout the person’s life (particularly early childhood) have caused Venus a great deal of grief and shown her that it’s not safe to show herself to others directly. She’s learned that she must adopt Scorpio’s secrecy and ability to “play the long game” and go after things in psychologically manipulative ways in order to get what she wants and needs. She can’t just show people her preferences, values, and desires, because not only will it not work to attract what she wants to her, but she may also actually be shunned or punished. Venus becomes guarded, distrustful, and extremely lonely. She may question her worth to others (or possibly even in life) since she wasn’t showered with things she finds lovely, and people didn’t just naturally like her exactly as she was. She’s still Venus, however. She still knows deep down what and who she wants. She still wants to be adored, wants to attract the good graces of others, wants to be charming, wants to be celebrated for her beauty and aesthetic tastes, wants to be loved and treasured, and doesn’t want to have to be the one to make things happen (whether directly like Mars or indirectly like Pluto). She may be uncertain whether she can ever have the things she wants, but she still has a real need for harmonious relationships (this is more related to the Libra side of Venus, but it’s relevant anywhere in the chart) and sensual pleasure in life. Combine this with Scorpio’s need for deep emotional attachments, intimacy, and energetic and psychological merging, and the result for people with this placement is a longing, a need, for deep connection and energetic merging that they may not believe they can ever have. Pain, angst, and a feeling of emptiness are the standard Venus in Scorpio experience instead of taking it easy, just appreciating moments of sensory enjoyment, expecting life experiences that align with her important values, and accepting the love of others the way Venus prefers to be able to do.

Additionally, Scorpio is more geared towards transformation instead of stability. This tendency towards transformation results in large part from expecting pain and problems, looking for issues, and focusing more on the difficult things in a situation than the niceties. This guardedness and eye for potential threats was necessary in early childhood and often well beyond because the environment and circumstances were painful and difficult. It remains necessary later in life even when circumstances are much more safe, pleasant, stable, and supportive because there are earlier wounds that need attention so the pain can be unburdened from the person’s psyche and nervous system. However, there can be a tendency to focus on the pain, darkness, and potential threats (both internal and external) TOO much, and that traps the person in patterns of re-experiencing the same types of wounds. In the worst case scenarios, someone with Venus in Scorpio may actually unconsciously repel the very things they wish to attract! For example, they may engage in “forced abandonment” which involves fearing abandonment and rejection so much that they end up behaving in ways that cause others, even very patient, loving, and compassionate others who genuinely care about them, to leave because the Venus in Scorpio individual pushed things so far due to insecurity that their loved one no longer really has any choice but to leave. Wherever that person’s line is, they cross it. Another very painful potential outcome of this placement is feeling miserable and lonely long term because the person has turned the expectation of pain into that reality in an ever-repeating cycle of longing and loneliness. (Remember, Scorpio placements are very good at making things happen in their outer world just by focusing intently on them!) Who has time to think about leisure or can have faith that things will turn out well when there’s a gnawing, gaping hole inside that nothing they’ve tried so far has ever been able to fill? (See more on the void here: https://youtu.be/iEQ6pqHzezw)

There are, of course, many potential benefits to this placement as well. The positive side of the tendency to look for problems and transform them is that there can be a lot of growth and healing as a result of this focus on the heavy things that arise, but once again, it’s just not the way Venus prefers to operate. Relationships with people with Venus in Scorpio can be very healing when Venus is mature and well-developed or very triggering when she’s not. However, even when she’s not, relationships for or with someone with this placement still hold the potential for positive transformation and growth through the pain and struggle of the experience.

Venus in Scorpio can be attracted to people who are in pain and in need of deep, transformative healing because she sees their need quite well, and she’s not afraid of the dark. She is well aware of their pain because she’s attuned to them enough to take it onto herself. However, this, too, can backfire really hard when the person isn’t ready to address their pain. They may not even be in a position to look at the pain she sees in them, and if she hasn’t incorporated enough Taurus to find her higher expression, she won’t know how to gently guide them through the process of creating safety, comfort, and stability in order to be in a position to look into the darkness and accept whatever’s there in compassionate, nurturing ways. Instead, they’ll reject her attempts at pointing out what she sees and blame her for their pain since she’s the one bringing it to the surface. This serves to reinforce messages she’s received throughout her life that she creates turmoil and causes destruction wherever she goes, and she may resign herself to this role feel she’s hopeless, helpless, and undeserving to find an intimate partner who truly meets her on the level of knowing and depth she is.

Venus in Scorpio is sexually alluring, but instead of attracting people in a straightforward way, it’s through the magnetism of Scorpio. Scorpio is mysterious and deep, and this draws people to it. If you ever doubt this, check out the number of views on articles or videos about Scorpio compared to articles/views from the same creator that are about other signs. As much as humans fear and want to withdraw from the pain, heaviness, depth, secrecy, longing, jealousy, possessiveness, taboos, morbidity, power plays, psychological manipulation, suspicion, obsessiveness, destructiveness, and incredible INTENSITY of Scorpio, they are also really turned on, intrigued, and inexplicably drawn closer to it. Being the object of a Scorpio placement’s laser-focus makes people feel special and desired, and many people find that on some level they really want to experience some of the intensity and the darker themes associated with Scorpio. Perhaps most importantly, everyone has stuff lurking in their unconscious that is looking for a way to surface so it can be healed, and however dangerous Scorpio may feel, that unconscious pull towards Scorpio placements and Plutonian people is quite compelling.

Additionally, Scorpio placements, especially Venus and Pluto, also hold the power to psychically will others to approach them and take action. If your Venus is in Scorpio, it’s very important for you to be consciously aware of your ability to do this because there’s potential for others to find it invasive (whether they’re consciously aware of it or not), and it can easily backfire even when it is effective if the other person does things because you willed them to do those things, not because they actually wanted to. I believe that most people who draw others to them in this way do so unconsciously, and unfortunately, it’s another way in which Venus in Scorpio can actually repel what she’s trying to attract. However, Venus holds the ability within her to consider other people’s perspectives, needs, and desires and find win-win solutions and compromises that are considerate of others and fair to everyone involved. Venus in tough positions like Scorpio and Aries can lose site of this because the pain of being in an environment that’s so neglectful of her needs and hostile to her true nature can cause her to become needy, guarded, self-centered, and even desperate for acceptance, affection, love, adoration, and belonging. Venus can reclaim these gifts, however, as she heals from the pain she’s experienced and develops and matures exactly where she is in a particular chart.

It’s important for Scorpio placements to experience plenty of physical affection and emotional intimacy (this especially applies to Venus and the Moon in Scorpio as both are soft, yin planets that need others and focus a great deal on attachment and comfort). The combination of physical pleasure and emotional intimacy is where Scorpio and Taurus meet. Because each sign in the zodiac needs to integrate some of its opposite sign in order to mature and develop, physical affection and sex can be very powerfully healing for Venus in Scorpio. Once she’s recovered from much of her trauma, she is then also in a position to be an amazingly effective sexual healer for others. Other forms of sensory pleasure and simple delights are really good for Scorpio placements just in general, too, of course, as they’re necessary for anchoring the nervous system in well-being. This makes it possible to work with whatever emerges from the dark depths of the psyche in beneficial and healing ways instead of getting swallowed up by pain and feelings of loneliness.

Scorpio placements have a tendency towards jealousy and possessiveness. Jealousy and possessiveness are not a good look for Venus, at least in most people’s eyes, and they certainly don’t feel good or natural for her, either! Venus needs security and comfort in order to function well, so it’s pretty important for this placement to address any sources of insecurity within her or within the situation. Sexual healing and healing through emotionally intimate romantic relationships are possible and important for people with this placement. A greater sense of security and belief in their worth can be developed and nurtured over time in a healthy relationship. Relationships with partners who aren’t trustworthy, honest, emotionally available, and loyal are especially damaging for Venus in Scorpio and just make it harder to be open to connecting with others with each bad experience. Unfortunately, this Venus can tend to mistake longing for love and therefore end up getting hung up on people who aren’t emotionally available or aren’t interested in a relationship with the Scorpio Venus person. Venus in Scorpio has a tendency to obsess about people instead of actively attracting them. She can sometimes hold onto interest in or feelings for people for a very long time, too, even after it’s become clear that they’re not going to be together. It’s also common for Venus in Scorpio to resent ex lovers and love interests and to hold a grudge for a very long time. Venus is generally not one to like to focus on such difficult emotions, so this, too, is highly unnatural and uncomfortable for her.

Another super important key feature is that Taurus is very, very good at being receptive, but Scorpio is very, very guarded. Venus in Scorpio can be quite secretive about feelings, values, interests, and desires. Not allowing others to see these things makes it much harder to get your needs met and to connect with people on any level (much less the level that Scorpio would like). It also makes it harder to warmly express appreciation, and that can make it less likely that others will wish to give Venus what she wants. Scorpio’s secrecy can also make it difficult to work through relationship issues in the graceful ways that Venus would generally prefer to use. Venus in Scorpio can use passive aggressiveness, withholding, and withdrawing instead, and this is extremely damaging to relationships! It’s very important to learn to be openly communicative with important others because there’s no such thing as intimacy without vulnerability, and this Venus placement needs deep emotional intimacy in order to feel loved and well.

The main challenges for Venus in Scorpio are to let love in and to allow things to just be simple and pleasant lovely and nice sometimes, to just let them be good and enjoy them! It’s hard to do this when you don’t feel safe and secure, however, and patterns developed during difficult times can become habitual. It’s very important for people with this Venus placement to be consciously aware of their tendency to overlook the lovely things in an experience because they’re getting lost in their inner worlds or obsessively analyzing the psychological factors in the situation. There’s a place for these things, but is it really necessary to focus on them so much of the time? Or to be so guarded in the present moment or situation? Self-awareness of the various ways they can sabotage their happiness in life, relationships, and potential relationships allows room for making different choices when it feels right to do so instead of just following the same unconscious patterns over and over again.

There are usually attachment wounds that need to be addressed, but fortunately, Scorpio placements are especially good at healing themselves over time. Using depth psychology to do inner healing work (I really love Internal Family Systems in particular, but there are many other ways to do inner healing work as well) can help to put them in a position to take the risk of connecting with others, but at a certain point, the only way to heal attachment wounds is through actually taking part in healthy, secure attachments to others. For this Venus placement, healing is all about doing the work to be ready for healthy intimacy and secure attachments and then actually engaging in them. Continue to do the work throughout the process, and relationships will continue to get deeper, more meaningful, and more fulfilling.

A mature, empowered Venus is one who owns her darker qualities, can hold space for the darkness in others, wisely supports transformation, has the capacity for very deep intimacy, and also consciously creates opportunities for light, simple pleasures and then purposely soaks up as much of the good feelings she can get from them in that moment. She does this while understanding that though the pleasure will soon end, it will come back around again soon enough, so there’s no need to fear the loss of it and try to grasp it. There’s no over-attachment to it. She learns to create and expect nice experiences that align with her deepest values and preferences, and she also expects darker and less pleasant experiences in life and knows how to navigate them in healthy ways when they occur without getting stuck there.

Note: I’d also add that evolved Plutonian people are generally especially attracted to and compatible with people with Venus in Scorpio because they appreciate exactly what she has to offer, are in a position to understand and offer compassion for her pain, can hold space for her heaviness, engage in her desired level of depth of intimacy, see incredible beauty in her darkness, and enjoy her highly sexual nature and high sex drive. She finds their darkness, depth, and intensity attractive as well. The challenge is that partners can get caught up in less healthy Plutonian themes together if they’re immature, stressed, or unhealthy. It can also be difficult for them to even come together in the first place if they’re both secretive and guarded about their interest in and feelings for each other. However, there’s potential for a great deal of healing, growth, enjoyment, and positive transformation together. If you have Venus in Scorpio, just know that despite the challenging nature of having this placement, it is exactly what some people desire! Your beauty and allure may not be “standard” Venusian beauty, but there are people out there who think it’s just about the most desirable thing that exists in this world. Show it off a little in ways that honor your deepest needs, values, and desires, and see who shows up! And, more importantly, do the inner work to be able to open yourself to them when they do.

My energy sensitivity has been much higher lately, and it’s been super interesting to observe. I’ve been learning a ton!

– My energetic system can get hijacked not only by the energy of other people and places, but also the 3rd energy created when I have an emotional/energetic relationship with another person. The third energy has a will and life of its own, and it can speak and act through me if I’m not conscious of it. In the past, I’ve mistaken this for my own excitement about a new friendship or relationship, and on outside it can look like an obsessive crush or even mania. If I am aware of it, I can still feel that energy and even utilize it to fuel my daily activities if I wish, but I’m also aware of how I feel, what I want and what my body needs. I can choose to consciously focus on my own stuff while holding other people’s stuff or 3rd energy stuff in a space of allowing, patience, and compassion. Note: I think most people if not everyone can experience this at times, and that’s why it’s so hard to sleep and sometimes even eat when you first fall in love, and you often feel optimistic and energized and ready to take on the world (unless you have a lot of attachment trauma in which case the experience is more uncomfortable and possibly even downright scary), for example. Some 3rd energies are a lot stronger/more overwhelming/overpowering than others.

– The same is true for group energies (such as in a living space, work space, class, friend group, a band, an audience, a Facebook group or group chat, a family, etc.) though it’s not usually as apparent because those energies aren’t typically as stable. They’re less stable in large part because they’re not as commonly built on physic/telepathic/energetic connections between/among the people involved. It’s also because…

– When I have strong energetic/psychic connections with multiple people or am party to a strong third/group energy, all those different energies can intermingle with each other within my energetic field and psyche even if those people/groups never meet each other. Similarly, the energetic connections people have with others can impact me.

– Sometimes, having a very strong energetic/psychic connection with another person means you’re literally in each other’s minds, and you’re each trying to use the same mental space for your own things. There’s a process of “getting to know each other” when relationships/friendships get established that involves rearranging your mental space (or rather, the stuff in it) to function well with theirs sharing some of that space. It’s like the mental version of two people who each already have their own sets of everything trying move in together in one space that may or may not be much bigger than what they each had alone. You need to either figure out how to live and work around each other’s stuff or learn to share. This is one of the reasons why getting involved with a new person can be really confusing and make it hard to think, focus, and function as normal. This is also why splitting up with that person can be so incredibly difficult and once again make it incredibly hard to function for a little while. You need to go buy a new can opener again, so to speak. (Again, some relationships and friendships have a MUCH greater area of overlap than others, so this isn’t always so notable.) The level of confusion this creates has to do in part with how compatible the people’s ways of thinking and areas of focus in life are to start. Note: The process can happen with or without much “real life” interaction between the two people.

– These types of connections can have a very healing or somewhat (possibly even very, in some cases) damaging impact on one or both of the parties involved in the relationship/friendship regardless of how much they actually interact (though it is generally stronger with more interaction provided the same amount of conscious awareness of is present both ways).

– Unconscious parts of each person can interact with unconscious parts of the other, so there can be A LOT going on beneath the surface of consciousness. Partners can share dream space as well. When involved in these types of strong energetic connections, it’s a good idea to take time to hold space for parts of you, the other person or people, and the third/group energies to bring concerns to conscious awareness so things can be addressed/healed/unburdened in loving, compassionate ways.

– These people are also able to emotionally uplift each other or spiral off of each other’s bad moods and ruminations when these connections are strong, so it’s incredibly important to be conscious of them! Without that awareness, it’s very, very easy to just spiral and assume that it’s your own feelings, thoughts, and experiences in the world that are causing you to feel that way. With that awareness, conscious focus can be returned to your own thoughts, feelings, desires, and needs.

– Reminder: Don’t assume that thoughts and feelings are yours just because you’re hearing them in your head or feeling them in your body or heart. Ask if part of you is thinking/feeling that way and why. Explore it. When you have particularly strong psychic connections with others, sometimes parts of you feel something just because parts of the other person is feeling that way! It’s so incredibly helpful to be able to recognize when this is happening.

– I’ve learned to recognize how it feels when others are willing me to do things. It has a distinct feeling that I unfortunately can’t describe, but it’s incredibly valuable to be able to notice this now because it’s a really uncomfortable feeling, and I didn’t know what it was in the past!

– I already knew I could literally send energies that come at me into the ground when they’re overwhelming to me when I’m out and about or interacting with other people, but I forgot that. I’ve also learned that when the energy in a place is unpleasant, I can do something similar while filling the place with white light, but it takes repeated efforts over a somewhat long period of time in order to make a real change UNLESS there are entities hanging around there that can be addressed/cleared or there are people who spend a lot of time there with whom I interact (whether in person or energetically).

– I’ve been finding that interacting with me is often more impactful on the energies of others than I’d imagined. Watching someone’s energy before, during, and after a brief interaction with me is fascinating and incredibly humbling at times. Sometimes, just saying hi to someone can catalyze a major shift in the person that lasts beyond whatever simple, quick interaction we may have had. I’ve seen other really impactful people as well. Most people are usually only slightly impactful, but there’s a whole range of possible levels of influence that people can have. Observing this gives me a sense of responsibility to take really good care of my body, mind (parts), and energy. I wonder if my negative impact when I’m in a bad place is as strong as my positive impact… It doesn’t seem like it though. It seems like I’m either mostly ignored or lovingly supported by others when I’m in a bad place.

– Most of what I’ve said above can apply to entities as much as to people, and a lot of people have entity attachments of which they’re unaware.

A conjunction is two planets being so close together that they have a very strong impact on each other. This particular conjunction is one of the most intense, and it also provides the person with strong intuition and an ability to transform themselves and their lives dramatically. This is a very, very powerful aspect that can turn quite dark at times. If you have this aspect in your chart, understanding and knowing how to work with these intense energies is the key to harnessing your personal power in the world and finding significantly more comfort in your life.

When the Moon is conjunct Pluto, it means that the way you were nurtured as an infant and child was somehow tied into power dynamics. Power dynamics do not belong in emotional nurturing or caring for an infant, and the result of combining these two discordant energies is a very complicated and sensitive relationship between your emotional security needs and themes of control and dominance. Even if the primary manifestation of this conjunction in your life is merely a reluctance to allow others to see your emotions, that’s still a form of self-control that leads to internalization and therefore intensification of your feelings. There’s no escaping the intensity of this conjunction, but there are ways to make peace with, positively utilize, and even enjoy it once you learn how to work with it. And yes, the amount of intensity experienced in day-to-day life does diminish, and the heaviness lightens up, as you go through the process of unburdening.

There are many different possible manifestations for any placement, of course. It’s possible that the people who nurtured you (especially your mother) withheld affection and acceptance in order to control you, were emotionally manipulative, were secretive, had their own dark moods, expected you to control your feelings, were vindictive, were prying regarding your inner world, were controlling just in general, or were extremely clingy to you. If your mother was especially healthy, then this may have instead manifested as her encouraging you to explore your darker feelings as she held space for you to process them. However, varying amounts of the former types of patterns are more typical with this conjunction.

Our early nurturing is the foundation for how we process our feelings throughout life and inwardly reflect on what’s happening around and to us. Nurturing is largely about soothing and preventing discomfort, emotional bonding, and the development of trust that we’re safe and our needs will be met. Having this conjunction indicates that you were taught that in order to receive those things in life, you’re also going to have to deal with a lot of heavy and intense themes as described below.

Keep in mind that the rest of the natal chart (as well as the charts of important people in your life) are extremely important in determining how themes will play out for you. That said, these are some of the positive and negative possible themes and tendencies that may play out in adulthood if your Moon is conjunct Pluto in your natal chart:

• Having an intense inner world and strong emotions
• Trying to control your feelings
• Trying to keep your feelings a secret from others
• Trying to read other people’s emotions and analyze what you see
• Being sensitive to any possible attempt to manipulate you
• Being perceptive just in general
• Being secretive just in general
• Ruminating
• Using escapism of various types (substance abuse, distractions, etc.) to keep yourself out of your feelings
• Having the ability to handle dark subjects and situations
• Tending towards psychoanalysis of people and situations
• Being a bit of a natural detective
• Needing the correct power dynamics (whatever that means for you) in relationships in order to feel emotionally safe, secure, and happy
• Having a stronger than average need for human touch in your life, particularly physical affection, in order to feel your best in day-to-day life
• Trying to analyze how emotionally safe you’ll be in later stages of a relationship instead of staying present with where things are now (this can paradoxically lead to forming intense attachments without having first built the relationship’s foundation together which can sometimes then lead to disappointment or further feelings of rejection because your partner may not be as intensely invested quite yet, and this can cause you to want to withdraw or push them away before they have a chance to get there as well)
• Obsessively thinking about something or someone (possibly to the extent of limerence)
• Focusing intently on what you want over long periods of time (which can lead to successes of various types in life due to your persistence)
• Learning as much as you can about any subject that’s interesting to you
• Learning as much as you can about other people’s inner worlds
• Perceiving rejection that isn’t actually there (even in long term relationships)
• Withdrawing when there’s a perceived rejection
• Feeling jealous and possessive of romantic partners
• Withholding attention or affection when you feel hurt
• Having revenge fantasies
• Isolating yourself when you’re hurting and/or being emotionally reactive instead of communicative
• Worrying that if you share how you’re feeling with others, it’ll be too intense for them
• Eventually having strong emotional outbursts at times
• Needing intensity in close relationships
• Fearing abandonment
• Having a very hard time with break ups
• Having strong intuition about what’s happening inside other people (which will sometimes be shockingly accurate but sometimes way off the mark)
• Analyzing your own feelings to look for the cause of them
• Needing to experience deep levels of intimacy in order to feel truly emotionally safe and comfortable in life
• Needing deep levels of emotional intimacy with another person in order to feel comfortable with physical intimacy (or even possibly desiring physical intimacy at all)
• Mistaking longing for love
• Having a heavily guarded heart
• Having a deep desire to have your strong feelings for another person reciprocated
• Being extremely self-controlled (or at least trying to be) just in general
• Transforming yourself throughout your life (like the caterpillar turning into a butterfly)
• Having the capacity to heal yourself very, very deeply through various types of inner healing work such as depth psychology or more spiritual or esoteric approaches
• Being able to hold space for very intense emotions from other people
• Being a catalyst for major life transformations for other people
• Having the capacity for healing yourself and/or facilitating healing for others through sexual intimacy
• Being able to feel the energy of people, places, and things and possibly eventually having a talent for energy work
• Having an interest in and/or natural talent for magic, divination, etc.
• Having an increased capacity for psychic gifts and telepathic connections with others (though please explore yourself deeply when you perceive these to see if there’s something you’re projecting onto others)

It’s important to note that one of the best ways to get out from under some of the heavier energies, feelings, and themes associated with this conjunction is to develop connections with trustworthy people who are able to hold space for your feelings no matter how intense they are and be there with you while you work through them. Co-regulation and acceptance can be powerfully helpful in facilitating self-healing.

Remember, you’re far more capable of transforming difficulties, trauma, and pain into healing, insight, gifts, and joy than the average person. If you do the work, you’ll also know levels of freedom in life that most people never do. Many of the burdens you’re carrying can be released, and when they are, there are surprising gifts waiting there for you in their place. 🙂

“What I think about with the 10th House in Astrology is work, monetary gains, public relations, sometimes father figure, etc. The group session that Joy hosted about the 10th House went further than the superficial layers of that and uncovered many things I didn’t know before yet could relate to very much. I especially liked when other participants pitched in to tell their stories and how they’re trying to hone in/struggling with using their 10th House to their full potential. I related to their stories very much and the way Joy approached with giving sound advice. The most notable (I think) advice she gave was about the inner child and how that could impact greatly in how the person view themselves and may be hindering their ability to move forward in the success they want in the future.

For me personally, I’m currently a homemaker and while I love being able to be with family everyday, I felt a tinge of dissatisfaction everyday with not doing what I really want – which was to draw and create (it could also be because my NN in 5th house as well). From when I was a little girl I dreamed of one day being a graphic novelist. Reality is hard though, you need to make money and afford food so I did many jobs that required service for other people, at one point I was a massage therapist for 7 years until I got pregnant with my daughter and decided to stay home. It wasn’t until I heard this video session that I decided to pick up my pencil again to draw. And I was in my zone. Maybe I can’t be a famous graphic novelist but I’m going to keep doing what I love. Joy’s session taught not only me but others as well that you yourself is the only person holding you back and once again that Astrology doesn’t lie. Thank you for the epiphany, Joy, and hope to keep listening to your sessions as much as I can!” -Ayumi H

“After the group session with Joy I felt a weight lifted, not just from my shoulders, but also from my heart and soul. She pin pointed the exact right questions that I needed to hear. Sometimes on our journey we get so lost in the mist we forget to realize how far we have already come, and to take that in our stride. I felt incredibly empowered and still carry that session with me in my heart.” -Brooke D.

“Joy Bott’s lesson on understanding your tenth house was, as a student, one of the more awakening moments I’ve had since starting this journey. Not only was she able to explain it with great clarity, she was also able to communicate important information about other houses that helped expedite the process of understanding. I look forward to future classes, especially if they are anything like this one. Joy is an effective teacher, very patient, and a pleasure to work with.” -Kat M.

“What I liked the most about Joy’s group session was Joy’s approach in better understanding the 2nd house in our Birth Chart . Joy gave useful and healing advice in how to understand our limiting self-beliefs about money, self-worth and abundance in general and how to develop better and more empowering Self-beliefs. It was also beautiful to see and feel how her insights resonated with us on a deep level.” – Valentina B.

“Joy has a great understanding of relating astrology in a practical manner. I loved the way her group sessions felt just like that. It was great to feel part of almost a support group environment while asking questions, sharing stories, and most importantly learning so much from Joy and each other. It was truly a remarkable experience.” -Jennifer L.

“Both the 10th house and 2nd house sessions were extremely enlightening as I was able to gain such great knowledge on the true nature of these houses. I have a Cancer 10th with a 6th house Pisces Moon. I’ve realized I need to succumb to my nurturing side and not be so sarcastic and protective of my true feelings. I’ve certainly been putting my truest emotions on display lately and everyone is freaking out! But, it feels good to finally express myself and my feelings without fear of invalidation from others. I’m being me! By doing so, I’m also strengthening my 2nd house. I have a Scorpio 2nd containing a Sagittarius Pluto. My values are my power! Especially when I’m feeling adventurous as I have been lately. It has felt great to step into myself and explore things I’ve always had an interest in. I’m learning to just get up and go (finally!) and not wait on someone else or second guess myself. Sounds like I’m working on my Aries Saturn Rx as well! I’ve been truly enjoying my life and it feels great to really do so without fear. Thank you for such insightful sessions!” -Shanae S.

As we start to “awaken”, people become very drawn to us, and for good reason. The process of awakening is basically the shedding of our illusions, of the inaccurate or incomplete beliefs we hold. As we do this, our Life energy shines through us less restricted. People see the Life in us, and it sparks a recollection that there is Life within them as well. They find themselves drawn to us without knowing why. The more false layers of self we clear, the more brilliantly we shine, and they more people are drawn to us. How does this impact us socially and economically?

1.) Beginning to Awaken: People are inexplicably attracted to you, though neither they nor you seems to know why. Everywhere you go, many people think they want to befriend or date you, or in the very least, tell you their life story. Simultaneously, your empathic abilities sudden become much stronger, so you can feel their pain and their feelings for you. You want to be there for them and be kind, but it’s starting to get overwhelming. At the same time, you’re also beginning to experience the physical symptoms of awakening, many of which are unpleasant and not something our doctors can explain. (Note: Do see your doctor if you’re experiencing any concerning symptoms.) You will wonder if you are going crazy. This question is a normal part of releasing your old beliefs.

2.) Dark Night of the Soul: At this point, you have seen many of your illusions for what they are and released them. As a natural result, the ego-driven attachments that you had to those in your life start to fall away, often very rapidly. Most of your existing support system no longer understands you or what you’re doing with your life, and you understand them too well to be able to connect with them in the now superficial-seeming way you once did. Many of the topics you used to discuss with them now seem pointless, and you can barely remember how to engage them on that level. The physical symptoms of awakening are in full force, so you may feel sick and have a lot of fluctuations in energy and sleep patterns as well. You feel totally alone. You don’t know who you are, your place in the world, or what life even is anymore. At the same time, your empathic abilities are heightened to the extent that it becomes too painful to be around others because you feel their pain, often more strongly than they do. It seems like almost everyone is suffering deeply. There’s just so much pain out there everywhere you go. It’s unbearable, so you avoid people as much as possible. The isolation is painful but necessary at this stage. It can be difficult or even impossible to “function properly” in your life during this time. If you’re there now, remember, “This too shall pass.” (Note: The Dark Night of the Soul isn’t a one shot deal. We repeat it to some extent each time we release a lot of old pain and heal core wounds. Usually it goes faster in later stages of the journey though because we recognize it and know how to work with it.) You’ll find your way out of this stage as you learn about and begin to embrace the practice of self-care.

3.) Finding Your “Tribe”: In this stage, you’ve realized that you need to focus on self-care and self-love, and as you begin to “fill your own void”, your level of happiness climbs rapidly. You get in touch with (or much more deeply in touch with) your spiritual guidance and inner guidance. You begin to make new social connection or discover significantly more depth in ones you already had. You begin to recognize your “soul family”. Other awakening or awakened people stand out to you, and you fearlessly connect with and learn from them. At this stage, it’s a wise investment to hire a healer, teacher, mentor, coach, etc. if someone really resonates strongly with you. You also begin to connect with and mentor/teach others, but you yourself are likely not yet truly in a place to make “awakening” or spirituality your livelihood. You just want to learn as much as you can and spread knowledge and joy in the world. Now, even more people are drawn to you, but you’ve learned that self-care means managing where you spend your time, attention, and energy. You know that you cannot spend a lot of time around suffering people without being negatively impacted, so you don’t unless you have to, and if you do, you immediately take some time to recover. You still have your struggles, but life has become much more light and joyous overall. You find it difficult to care as much about practical concerns in your life because they seem pretty meaningless compared to the areas in which you’re expanding. You invest in books, tools, classes, etc. and may work at your regular job less to give yourself more time for your new interests and self-care.

4.) Spiritual Volunteer or Starting Spiritual Entrepreneur: You’ve continued to release your untruths while hearing many other people’s depictions of their truth (in ancient texts, from talking to people, from taking classes or courses, from studying under someone, from reading about topics that grabs your attention, and from discussing many other people’s journeys with them). You’re at a point where you’re most trusting of your own inner guidance, but you still also rely on your teachers and spiritual guidance as well. Others are more drawn to you than ever before, and now you’re in a position to interact with even the most miserable of people without being harmed by it. This is because you know not to resist pain, so you can feel their pain with them, bless them, and release the pain (whether they’re also ready to do so as well or not), and keep moving. This ability to see who people truly are at their core and to be where they are with them without judgement is indispensable for those who are struggling. People regularly tell you that you’ve changed their life. It feels amazing to touch people’s lives in this way! However, you’re starting to feel overwhelmed not by the emotions or struggles of any one person or group of people at a given time, but by the sheer quantity of people who are coming to you for insight. Additionally, there are some people with whom your manner of explaining things resonates very strongly, and those people seek continued frequent contact. You don’t want to turn anyone away, but your life is out of balance. You’re working for free or for low fees. You’re running yourself ragged, and all of this focus on spiritual stuff has meant even less focus on practical concerns. You’re definitely richer and healthier than you’ve ever been before in many ways, but you wouldn’t know it by looking around at your material conditions. Your work at your day job, if you still have it, is starting to suffer as well because you can see how much more important your spiritual work is. While you feel bad charging people “just to talk to you” and certainly don’t want to turn anyone away, you’re finding that you’re no longer able to give ANYONE the time or attention you once did. It’s time to redress the balance.

5.) Spiritual Entrepreneur: At this point, you understand that the best way for you to serve the world right now is to charge for the expertise that you’ve invested a countless amount of time, energy, and other opportunity costs to acquire over the years. People aren’t “paying just to talk to you”. They’re investing in themselves, and you’re able to be a part of that because you’ve invested so much in yourself over the years. You’ve sacrificed nearly everything (if not everything!) you once were to get to this point. You also understand that Life is infinitely abundant and flows through us all inasmuch as we allow it to do so, and you understand that this applies to both your finances and those of your clients. If someone is meant to work with you at this time, Life will provide them with the means to do so. Their means is not your responsibility, and you can see now how it’s egotistical for you to think that it is. You charge what you feel guided to charge and recognize that Life will sort out who your clients will be. You also recognize the immense value in this type of exchange and hire your own healers, coaches, teachers, etc. This change to charging a healthy amount allows you to focus all of your efforts on your own continued growth in life and on serving your clients in the very best capacity you have to offer rather than on accounting or fixing cars or whatever your livelihood used to be. You now recognize that it’s prideful for you to work for free (why exactly WERE you doing it, anyways? because you believed you have something to offer that no one else does? because it made you feel important? these are good questions to answer 😉 ) unless you’re already in an extremely comfortable financial position and feel guided to do so. This change works quickly and wonderfully to redress the balance, and soon you’re able to play and rest more, dive more fully into your spiritual practices, and offer the best input to your clients. As you do this, you lose even more layers of false knowledge, and you draw even more people to you! Your spiritual business growths until there comes a point where you start to have so many referrals and people ready to sign up for your services that you have to raise your prices and create waiting lists. You begin to see that you’re once again no longer serving the world as well as you could be.

6.) Spiritual Guru: At this stage, you stop doing individual and small group sessions and begin to offer your message to much larger groups. Eventually, you fill any size auditorium with those seeking to find themselves in the messages you allow to flow through you. Your book is on best seller lists, and you’re in a position to effect true social and political changes in the world.

7.) Spiritual Master: At this stage, you no longer use 10,000 words to teach spiritual truth. You just live your life. People come to you for guidance, and you answer their questions with very short answers that to them may seem nonsensical. They may say you speak in riddles. (People who are on steps 1 through 6 take on the task of attempting to explain the meaning.) You see the truth so clearly that you now know that there is nothing you could ever say to show it to anyone else. They must get there in their own time and in their own way. All is in perfect, divine order. The wiser you become, the less you speak and the less you do. “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”
Where are you now? Remember, this journey is the natural result of dying a thousand deaths. That is, you let go of who you think you are and what you think life is. If you attempt to skip steps, you’ll become a “false teacher” and bring too much ego into your message. You’ll also fail to connect with people the way you need to in order to achieve real, lasting results. Thank you for reading this! Blessings to you all. ❤

1. Tune into the energetic frequency of the life you want to live. This step works really well when you’re in a somewhat meditative state- calm and comfortable without any distractions. Visualize yourself in the position you wish to be. Really get into it, and notice how it feels. That feeling is the key to this step. Our motivation for wanting to experience a particular circumstance in our lives is essentially because we believe that it will make us feel a certain way. Find that feeling. Explore and experiment with different ideas and visualizations. It’s important to be open to surprises in this process. You may find yourself imagining a circumstance that you’ve never considered in the past. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is how it feels. Play with it. Try different things and see what feels best. What mental picture or idea gets you to the best feeling the fastest in this moment? Notice that your mind tries to figure out how realistic it is or what steps would be necessary in order to get there. Let your “inner planner” know that right now, you’re just looking to experience a feeling, nothing else. You’re not making a plan right now. Savor the feeling. Envision the energy of the coming into your energy field and body through your crown chakra just above the top of your head.
2. Bring that feeling into your day-to-day life. Use specific physical objects and activities as cues to bring yourself into that energetic frequency as often as possible as you go about your day. For example, you could wear a bracelet or ring that reminds you to focus on that feeling whenever you notice that you’re wearing it. You could buy a different hand soap for your bathroom and tune into that frequency every time you wash your hands. You could put on some music in the car that brings you closer to that feeling, and then intentionally open yourself to bring in and fully experience even more of that energy while you’re driving. When you’re washing dishes, showering, getting dressed, or whatever else, bring that feeling into it. It may be helpful to imagine doing those same things within the situation you desire. Live from this feeling now as much and as often as you’re able. Intend to allow more of this energy to flow in through your crown chakra (just above your head) throughout the day. As you’re falling asleep at night, focus intently on allowing yourself to be filled with the feeling. Be open to changes in what you envision. The visualizations and ideas are only tools for experiencing this feeling now. They’re not goals or plans or even intentions. They don’t need to be specific or consistent. Their only use at this point is to help you focus on the energetic frequency from which it feels best to live, so play with it. Explore and be open to being surprised by what you see.
3. Notice how you’re feeling, and address concerns and resistance as they arise. The first two steps of this process are pretty common “Manifestation” or “Law of Attraction” practices. The reason that these practices very often either don’t work, create only temporary changes, or work but create negative, often seemingly unrelated consequences in life is because they miss this critical step. These first two steps are pretty much guaranteed to bring some doubts and unpleasant thoughts and feelings to the surface. At this point, people usually just try harder to focus on feeling good and attempt to overpower their doubts. Eventually, they either use force of will to push through it (at least temporarily) until they achieve their goal, become extremely ungrounded, or give up and feel worse than they did when they started. This process addresses inner concerns and resistance gently, effectively, and compassionately through a number of tools that I’ve discovered over the years such as IFS*, the Enneagram, and others. This step of the process is extremely important for truly changing our lives for the better in lasting ways that don’t have unintended negative consequences. (For example, a metabolic weight loss doctor I once saw told me that it’s common for her patients that experience extreme weight loss to suddenly develop new unhealthy habits such as compulsive shopping, having a lot of sex with strangers, etc.) This is because there are unconscious beliefs and worries that need to be explored and addressed, and if this doesn’t happen, the results will essentially be, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” True transformation and growth (not to mention major positive life changes) cannot happen without effectively addressing unconscious limiting beliefs and concerns. See https://modern-mystic.mykajabi.com/the-process-opt-in to see a recording a group session for an example of Step 3.
4. Upgrade your energy. Part of the process of changing your “energetic set point” is that once in a while, you might feel totally drained of energy for no apparent reason. Trying to push through this or figure out what’s wrong doesn’t help when this occurs. That just makes it take longer to recover your energy. This happens when the energy which had previously been fueling you is no longer available because you’re releasing it to make room for new, different, better energy. Trying to use the old, familiar energy from this state is essentially trying to hold onto that old energy. Don’t. Just sit or lay still and relax as deeply as possible. Let the old energy drain away entirely, and intentionally allow new energy to fill your energy field and body through your crown chakra. Once it’s complete (usually within half an hour to a few hours, but sometimes it’s necessary to sleep before you can use the new energy), you’ll feel better than you ever have. Congratulations! You’ve just received an upgrade! You’ll likely find that as you embody this new energy, you’re able to access even better feelings through your visualizations than you could before your energetic upgrade. Lean into it. (My experience has been that this tends to happen at relatively convenient times. I’ve never felt this way during a time when I needed to be active and function unless I didn’t take a previous opportunity to rest when I needed it.)
5. Flow with Life as it moves within and around you. As you live your life from this new energy, you’ll start seeing the world around you differently. Opportunities that you wouldn’t have noticed or recognized for what they are will suddenly stand out to you. You’ll find yourself coming up with ideas that you never would have had from your previous energetic set point. You’ll feel inspired and empowered to take small and large actions that align with this new energy. It will also draw individuals and opportunities to you as other people will unconsciously pick up on your energy. Life itself will suddenly seem to move in unexpected, amazing ways that totally surprise you, and you’ll be in a position to naturally align with the flow of events in the creation of a different set of circumstances in your life. The outer circumstances of your life will change to match the energy on which you’ve been so intently focused throughout this process. Your circumstances may match what you’ve been visualizing, or you may find that what appears in your experience meets your needs and desires even better than whatever you thought you wanted. (This is part of the reason that it’s not a good idea to get too attached to the specifics of your desires. Life can and will account for details that you hadn’t considered if you flow with it. <3) From here, you’ll be in a position to apply this process to other areas of your life, and you can continue to grow and evolve in this area as well.

*Please note that I am IFS informed, not certified. Also, I’m not a therapist. I may recommend professional therapy if it seems like a person’s concerns are related to trauma or are otherwise beyond the scope of services that I’m qualified to offer.