The Process

  1. Tune into the energetic frequency of the life you want to live. This step works really well when you’re in a somewhat meditative state- calm and comfortable without any distractions. Visualize yourself in the position you wish to be. Really get into it, and notice how it feels. That feeling is the key to this step. Our motivation for wanting to experience a particular circumstance in our lives is essentially because we believe that it will make us feel a certain way. Find that feeling. Explore and experiment with different ideas and visualizations. It’s important to be open to surprises in this process. You may find yourself imagining a circumstance that you’ve never considered in the past. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is how it feels. Play with it. Try different things and see what feels best. What mental picture or idea gets you to the best feeling the fastest in this moment? Notice that your mind tries to figure out how realistic it is or what steps would be necessary in order to get there. Let your “inner planner” know that right now, you’re just looking to experience a feeling, nothing else. You’re not making a plan right now. Savor the feeling. Envision the energy of the coming into your energy field and body through your crown chakra just above the top of your head.
  2. Bring that feeling into your day-to-day life. Use specific physical objects and activities as cues to bring yourself into that energetic frequency as often as possible as you go about your day. For example, you could wear a bracelet or ring that reminds you to focus on that feeling whenever you notice that you’re wearing it. You could buy a different hand soap for your bathroom and tune into that frequency every time you wash your hands. You could put on some music in the car that brings you closer to that feeling, and then intentionally open yourself to bring in and fully experience even more of that energy while you’re driving. When you’re washing dishes, showering, getting dressed, or whatever else, bring that feeling into it. It may be helpful to imagine doing those same things within the situation you desire. Live from this feeling now as much and as often as you’re able. Intend to allow more of this energy to flow in through your crown chakra (just above your head) throughout the day. As you’re falling asleep at night, focus intently on allowing yourself to be filled with the feeling. Be open to changes in what you envision. The visualizations and ideas are only tools for experiencing this feeling now. They’re not goals or plans or even intentions. They don’t need to be specific or consistent. Their only use at this point is to help you focus on the energetic frequency from which it feels best to live, so play with it. Explore and be open to being surprised by what you see.
  3. Notice how you’re feeling, and address concerns and resistance as they arise. The first two steps of this process are pretty common “Manifestation” or “Law of Attraction” practices. The reason that these practices very often either don’t work, create only temporary changes, or work but create negative, often seemingly unrelated consequences in life is because they miss this critical step. These first two steps are pretty much guaranteed to bring some doubts and unpleasant thoughts and feelings to the surface. At this point, people usually just try harder to focus on feeling good and attempt to overpower their doubts. Eventually, they either use force of will to push through it (at least temporarily) until they achieve their goal, become extremely ungrounded, or give up and feel worse than they did when they started. This process addresses inner concerns and resistance gently, effectively, and compassionately through a number of tools that I’ve discovered over the years such as IFS*, the Enneagram, and others. This step of the process is extremely important for truly changing our lives for the better in lasting ways that don’t have unintended negative consequences. (For example, a metabolic weight loss doctor I once saw told me that it’s common for her patients that experience extreme weight loss to suddenly develop new unhealthy habits such as compulsive shopping, having a lot of sex with strangers, etc.) This is because there are unconscious beliefs and worries that need to be explored and addressed, and if this doesn’t happen, the results will essentially be, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” True transformation and growth (not to mention major positive life changes) cannot happen without effectively addressing unconscious limiting beliefs and concerns. See to see a recording a group session for an example of Step 3.
  4. Upgrade your energy. Part of the process of changing your “energetic set point” is that once in a while, you might feel totally drained of energy for no apparent reason. Trying to push through this or figure out what’s wrong doesn’t help when this occurs. That just makes it take longer to recover your energy. This happens when the energy which had previously been fueling you is no longer available because you’re releasing it to make room for new, different, better energy. Trying to use the old, familiar energy from this state is essentially trying to hold onto that old energy. Don’t. Just sit or lay still and relax as deeply as possible. Let the old energy drain away entirely, and intentionally allow new energy to fill your energy field and body through your crown chakra. Once it’s complete (usually within half an hour to a few hours, but sometimes it’s necessary to sleep before you can use the new energy), you’ll feel better than you ever have. Congratulations! You’ve just received an upgrade! You’ll likely find that as you embody this new energy, you’re able to access even better feelings through your visualizations than you could before your energetic upgrade. Lean into it. (My experience has been that this tends to happen at relatively convenient times. I’ve never felt this way during a time when I needed to be active and function unless I didn’t take a previous opportunity to rest when I needed it.)
  5. Flow with Life as it moves within and around you. As you live your life from this new energy, you’ll start seeing the world around you differently. Opportunities that you wouldn’t have noticed or recognized for what they are will suddenly stand out to you. You’ll find yourself coming up with ideas that you never would have had from your previous energetic set point. You’ll feel inspired and empowered to take small and large actions that align with this new energy. It will also draw individuals and opportunities to you as other people will unconsciously pick up on your energy. Life itself will suddenly seem to move in unexpected, amazing ways that totally surprise you, and you’ll be in a position to naturally align with the flow of events in the creation of a different set of circumstances in your life. The outer circumstances of your life will change to match the energy on which you’ve been so intently focused throughout this process. Your circumstances may match what you’ve been visualizing, or you may find that what appears in your experience meets your needs and desires even better than whatever you thought you wanted. (This is part of the reason that it’s not a good idea to get too attached to the specifics of your desires. Life can and will account for details that you hadn’t considered if you flow with it. <3) From here, you’ll be in a position to apply this process to other areas of your life, and you can continue to grow and evolve in this area as well.

*Please note that I am IFS informed, not certified. Also, I’m not a therapist. I may recommend professional therapy if it seems like a person’s concerns are related to trauma or are otherwise beyond the scope of services that I’m qualified to offer.

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