The following excerpt is currently my favorite quote of any kind, and it elucidates what is, in my mind, one of the main reasons studying and practicing the Enneagram offers so much value. (It also offers individual benefits such as greater peace, freedom, and the opportunity see and step back from self-sabotaging patterns.)
“Think of people you love. Do you see their tricks? Do you know what they’re up to? Can you see them running their little racket with you? Of course you can. And do you love em anyway? Of course you do. And you know what you’re waiting for? You’re waiting for that moment when they step out from behind that disguise. You’re waiting for that moment where they trust you enough that they don’t have to run that racket with you. You’re waiting for that moment when they love themselves enough to share who they really are with you.
And you know what else? They’re waiting for that with you. Everybody’s waiting for you to drop your dance and show them who you really are.
And we’re all just too scared to do it, but you know… part of inner work is being willing to be the first one on the dance floor. If I’m waiting for other people to drop their stuff before I do, I might wait a very long time. So *someone* has to go first… This is a kind of leadership. It’s being willing to take a leading role to say, ‘You know what, I don’t want to pour my energy into this… I want to show up.’ And in a gentle way, my doing that becomes an invitation for other people to as well…
The weird thing is that this kind of leadership actually is self-care because we are honoring our true heart. It takes A LOT more energy to run these rackets than it does to relax and show up and be who I am. We have no idea how much energy we pour into these personality patterns.”
-Russ Hudson, The Enneagram: Nine Gateways to Presence