Have you ever noticed that you can do some really amazing, deep, transformative healing, and then six months later, the same freaking thing comes back up again? I have found that it does for me, and I used to wonder why it happened and whether I was ever actually as “healed” as I thought I was.
Here’s the thing: The human mind is fantastically brilliant! Our unconscious minds compute unfathomable amounts of data from everything around us, and they are like incredibly powerful computers that can use that information to calculate things that our conscious minds cannot. The book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell explores this in detail with case studies and scientific research.
Everything we don’t even realize we see around us is computed. Even seemingly meaningless things like how well the lawns in our neighborhood are maintained and slight changes in someone’s pitch as they speak go into the calculations. The conclusions of those calculations are generally only available to us through our feelings, such as our emotions, sensations, and intuition.
Our minds develop rules for how to function to help us avoid pain, though usually we’re not consciously aware of those rules. Everything we feel changes our brains, but pain is more impactful than anything else. Our minds are so brilliant that they don’t just use our own personal experiences to create rules for how to avoid pain. They also see the evidence of the pain of others and use that information as well.
In this way, we take on the pain of others even if we don’t see the original cause of that pain. The core wound from the neighbor’s early childhood can indirectly impact us even if we never pay any attention to the neighbor. Our minds are just THAT powerful!
This is part of why you may sometimes find that you have core wounds that don’t seem to make sense based on the life that you’ve lived. Another reason is that we also have genetic memory. Scientists believe that our memories actually change our genetic material, so we pass our traumas from before having a child onto future generations through that child. Traumas experienced many generations ago due to war, practical realities of life, and social injustice can show up as core wounds even if we don’t know that they happened!
And just like other people’s core wounds can unconsciously or consciously impact us, when they heal those core wounds, the manifestations of their freedom to live their truth also impact us. When we heal our own core wounds, we walk out into the world as healers because our very presence has a healing influence on others even if they initially react negatively on the surface. This then creates a ripple effect. The people with whom we come in direct or indirect contact go on to impact others around them, and those people impact others around them, and so on. The very best thing we can do for anyone and everyone is to take very, very good care of ourselves!
Living in the world means absorbing the pain of others, and continuing to process our feelings means healing that pain not just in us, but also in others. When we heal ourselves, we’re indirectly healing everyone!
This is one of the reasons why it is unhelpful to try to figure out why you feel the way you do. You may never know, and if you make an assumption, the pain that you are experiencing will reinforce that assumption and change or reinforce your mental model. This also causes you to hold onto that pain. However, if you just go ahead and feel it without assigning meaning, you’ll likely release it. Whether or not you have an epiphany about why you felt the way you did, you’ll be better off for having processed your feelings. 🙂
“Why is this kid so freaking DIFFICULT?!” An important consideration when dealing with frequent meltdowns, temper tantrums, or aggression in small children
Teach From Where You Are
For a long time, I had a lot of stuff that I was learning that I recognized as extremely valuable and wanted to share with the world. I held back because I thought, “Who am I to teach? Clearly I don’t have it all figure out! Look at my [insert random challenge here] situation!” I think this is very common, and I want to encourage you to share whatever you feel inspired to share with the world despite the fact that none of us ever have it all figured out while we’re in physical form.
There’s an ancient proverb that says that when the student is ready, the master will appear. A Course In Miracles says that we teach what we need to learn. Scientific studies have shown that the best way to learn something is to teach it. The Latin phrase Docendo discimus means, “By teaching, we learn.”
What I’d like to add to these adages is that whatever we’ve been learning, whatever inspires us, is something from which others would also benefit. Not everyone in the world wants or needs to hear it right now, but there are people who do. If you keep it to yourself, neither you nor anyone else will derive the full benefit of the lessons that Life has been offering you.
It’s normal to look back at what you were learning or teaching a decade ago and think, “Wow, I would never say that now!” about some of it. That’s perfectly okay! It’s just where you were at the time, and there’s no stage of the journey that’s better than any other. But here is the main point: Whatever you were learning then would have resonated with others who also needed that or a similar lesson at that time. If the current you when back in time and tried to offer your current lessons and inspiration to those people, it most likely wouldn’t resonate with them. They might not have even been able to hear it, much less apply it. In another decade, you may look back and think the same thing about where you are now. That’s perfectly okay, too. ❤ It still has value right now.
Write or speak your truth. Share what inspires you. It won’t resonate with everyone, but regardless, it will be of value to both you and others. Embrace the opportunities that the current moment offers. And as always, only take what resonates with you from whatever I say!
The Yin and Yang Within Each of Us
All things, including each of us, have a Yin side and a Yang side. Many people feel more comfortable with one side than the other for various reasons and therefore tend to focus more on that side, but no matter how strongly we lean one way or the other, we all have both, and there is always at least some expression of one within any expression of the other. They need the support of each other. One cannot exist without the other, and nothing can exist without both. Similar to Mind, Body, and Spirit balance, Yin and Yang are also in perfect balance within our True Self. Once again, note that balance does not mean equal focus at all times. Balance means responding to the needs of the situation by focusing on the required attributes of each side at any given moment. Balance also means that both sides of ourselves are valued equally even if we are not focusing on both equally.
Let’s take a look at what each is and how it manifests in healthy and unhealthy ways.
Yang is doing. Healthy Yang is strong, virile, logical, enterprising, protective, just, outwardly focused, leading, decisive, punctual, assertive, structured, dutiful, focused, firm, and active. It is productive and does what needs to be done despite whatever Yin emotional storm may be raging.
Yin is being. Healthy Yin is caring, emotional, nurturing, gentle, accepting, inwardly focused, yielding, sensitive, imprecise, affectionate, enigmatic, pleasant, flexible, soft, and passive. It gets what it needs by attracting support. It sees and tends to the emotional and comfort needs of itself and others in soft, sweet ways.
When Yang is unhealthy, it’s overly aggressive, angry, rigid, anxious, and domineering. When Yin is unhealthy, it’s helpless, complaining, depressive, and needy.
When they come together in a healthy way, Yin personal values and emotions motivate Yang to meet Yin’s desires and needs. Happy Yin brings the color and enjoyment to life. All of the Yang energy in the world is empty without Yin’s receptivity and appreciation of it. Yang loves to see Yin delighted, so Yin rewards Yang for its efforts by enjoying the fruits of Yang’s labors. When Yin is hurting or in danger, Yang mobilizes to defend as necessary or work to alter the situation. Yang’s drive, discipline, and ability to structure help Yin to get more enjoyment out of life by minimizing unnecessary delays, chaos, waste, etc. Yin’s awareness of emotional and physical comfort needs helps Yang avoid overwork and remember to take some time to enjoy itself. Yin can also advise Yang about how to be more agreeable to others and therefore attract cooperation.
Once again, we all have both Yin and Yang sides, and one can only function as well as the other. Regardless of our focus or level of comfort with each, one side can only be as strong and healthy as the other because they are a reflection of the strong, healthy True Self. They are also entirely interdependent. However, this does not necessarily mean that we will focus as much on one side as the other. It just means we can when we desire or need to do so.
It’s possible to have a side that’s strong and capable yet not strongly expressed because most of demands for it are being met in our environment. If, for example, the environment is incredibly Yang, such as that of boot camp in the military, we must respond by manifesting obedient Yin behavior in order to thrive. If, on the other hand, our partner is very Yin, in order for us to get along with our partner and for the couple to thrive in the world, we must demonstrate more of a Yang focus.
Also noteworthy is that we don’t naturally embody all of the traits of either side. Also, there is always at least some Yin within Yang expression and Yang within Yin expression as shown in the Yin/Yang symbol. For example, someone who focuses more on Yang might be introverted and stoic rather than extroverted and lustful. A very Yin person may be more concrete than intuitive and embody Yin more through sensuality than through mystique. We’re all individuals with unique sets of characteristics that don’t fit cleanly into any model.
Without the support of the other side, neither can function in healthy ways. Yang side needs to have the nurturing support and emotional attentiveness of Yin, or it becomes uncaring. Yin side needs the protection, decisiveness, and productivity of Yang or it becomes weak. When both sides have the loving support of the other, the individual thrives. Eventually, both sides integrate the healthy traits of the other and use them as needed. It becomes impossible to tell which side is the strong side and which is the caring side. The individual is able to wisely act according to the needs of the situation, whatever they are, in any given moment.
In order to provide support to others, we must first be supported ourselves. It helps, of course, to have strong Yin and Yang support from others in our lives, but there are ways to develop it within ourselves over time. It can be done through mindfully recognizing and meeting the needs of each side within us with the strengths of the other. Allow your Yang side to remain strong and protective of your Yin side while it breaks down or enjoys itself. Allow your Yin side to nurture, inspire, and sweetly care for the emotional needs of the Yang side while it accomplishes things and makes decisions. Allow them to support each other! Both sides will immediately begin to grow stronger and healthier, and they will continue to grow over time as you practice this. You will notice rapid beneficial changes in your life.
Modalities, Elements, and Yin/Yang
- Cardinal: Create, initiate, start
- Fixed: Preserve, maintain, continue
- Mutable: Change, adapt, edit, conclude
- Fire: Spirit, will, passion, decisiveness, drive, essence
- Earth: Body, physicality, practicality, material conditions
- Air: Mind, mental understanding, social activity, communication, knowledge, beliefs
- Water: Emotions, Intuition
- Yang: Fire and Air. They’re strong, detached, logical, enterprising, protective, just, outwardly focused, dominant, leading, decisive, assertive, and active. They produce or acquire what they want or need.
- Yin: Earth and Water. They’re caring, emotionally in tune, nurturing, gentle, accepting, inwardly focused, yielding, sensitive, and passive. They attract what they want or need.
Your Divine Counterpart Has a Gift for You, And It’s Just What You Always Wanted!!!
What is it that, deep down, all of us really, truly want in life? Well, we want to understand our place in the universe. We want to truly love and be truly loved. We want to know the meaning of life. We want to fulfill our purpose. We want to really live. In short, underneath all of our searching and yearning and striving, we’re all trying to answer this basic question, “WHO AM I?” All of our questions and struggles in life essentially boil down to this simple inquiry.
Answering this question means finding true, unconditional love and acceptance. It is something that can only be experienced, not explained or understood, but what I offer here is a humble attempt to communicate my understanding of my experience in the hope that it will resonate with some people enough that they will remember how to experience it for themselves.
Whatever is going on right now in your individual journey, I invite each of you take a moment to feel gratitude for and bless yourself, your Twin Flame, and your Divine connection with pure, Unconditional Love. ❤
Your Divine Counterpart Has a Gift for You, and It’s Just What You Always Wanted!
The Journey Begins
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton